Scientists to close trans dimensional rift because Oilpunk universe is “too weird”

Recent events in the 21st century alternate universe have scared our greatest minds
scientist's laboratory

Scientist’s laboratory

Scientists at the Nottingham Excursion Research Department have voiced concerns regarding the trans dimensional rift between the futuristic Oilpunk universe and what they call our Steampunk universe. The team in Nottinghamshire are one of the leading research groups studying the recently discovered Oilpunk universe. They were previously very impressed with their technological advances. However, recent changes in their political landscape have caused a growing concern throughout the scientific industry.

Speaking exclusively to Steampunk Journal, Lady Emilia Von Poppetartt  – inventor of dimensional portal travel – said “Despite the sheer volume of information that we managed to covet from the rift, we had to make the difficult decision to close it. They have made such leaps in technological advancements such as strollers for goldfish, bras for men and umbrellas for shoes. But recently that version of Britain went through a similar break up of states that we did with Crexit. The vote that split the Commonwealth. Except they’re calling it Brexit and the entire United Kingdom is splitting away from a United Europe. It’s ironic because Britain started the whole thing off in the first place. The damage done to their economy and the racism it exacerbated is simply jaw dropping. The way they talk about people with other skin tones, you’d think they’re unaware the human race began in Africa.”

Lady Poppetartt went on to say that a sudden unusual rise in extreme right activity in Europe and the election of an idiot in the United States of America has seen a distinct decline in intelligent thinking across the World. “We’ve been monitoring their radio and visual transmissions and people are arguing with each other over the slightest thing. The most common thing for people to say to someone else at the moment is that they’re offended. For some reason they seem to think that it’s the OTHER person who has to change THEIR way of thinking. Just because this one person dislikes something that they said. It’s all very peculiar.”

Too weird

In a recent statement to the press, Minister for Travel and Locomotion, Sir Hugo Banderville said: “The loss of the rift is a huge blow to the travel and holiday industry. However, when Lady Poppetartt voiced her concerns at afternoon tea last week, I knew we couldn’t have our people mixing with anyone from that dimension. Frankly it’s all gotten a bit too weird for us.”

British Tea Company CEO Sir Robin Masses said “Sadly, despite our best efforts to keep the rift open, the decision has been made to close it. The people of that alter-Earth won’t be able to taste the fragrant flavours of our new Wild Earth range of teas. Sourced from the deepest parts of unexplored Africa, these delicious infusions would make a delightful talking point at a tea party or dinner. Alas, that universe won’t get to know.”

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Alternate NewsTransportation
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